Take Me To The Airport
by thepapayagirl
Summary: Hands up who wants some B/B action! The squints have a laugh at Booth and Brennan's expense when Booth offers our favourite forensic anthoplogist a 'lift to the airport'... and she accepts. THREESHOT. You need to have watched 4.1/2 to understand the humor
1. Cause

**This suddenly came to me a few days after watching 4.1/2, Yanks in the UK. Enjoy!**

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"Bye, Ange," said Brennan warmly, briefly hugging her friend.

"Bye, sweetie. See you soon," sighed Angela, wondering exactly how much fun someone could have on a 'vacation' that involved poking and prodding at mouldy old Peruvian skeletons.

"Have fun, Dr Brennan," said Cam brightly, smiling her goodbyes. She stood, as always, slightly back from the rest of the group with her arms folded, yet still managed to make herself heard over the incessant chattering of Brennan's highly irritating new grad student.

"Stay away from Hayu Marca. And planes," warned Hodgins mysteriously. "On second thoughts, I take it back: go to Hayu Marca and bring me home an alien."

Three pairs of eyebrows simultaneously shot upwards as the women exchanged exasperated glances. Hodgins looked at them in disbelief.

"Do you people know _nothing_? In 2001, the Peruvian Air Force shot down a plane flying over the Amazon after receiving information from the CIA that the plane was trafficking in narcotics. It wasn't; it was filled with Christian missionaries," he explained, with just a little too much excitement in his voice.

"He says with a smile," remarked Cam.

"What can I say? Anti-authoritarianism, baby," he replied mischievously.

Brennan merely rolled her eyes.

"Bye, everyone. I'll see you all when I get back," she promised. A flurry of grey and white striding into the lab caught her eye as she turned to pick up her bag. "Booth! At last. You're late," she informed him.

"What are you doing here? Do we have a case?" asked Hodgins excitedly, quickly abandoning his slime.

"What, I don't even get a hello? I just came to give Bones a lift to the airport." At this, Hodgins looked faintly amused, Cam struggled to hide a snort, and Angela openly burst into laughter.

"I bet you did," she choked out through giggles.

"Maybe Dr Saroyan would be a better choice," suggested Hodgins with an evil glint in his eye.

"Oh no, I'm sure Booth's_ more_ than happy to take Dr Brennan to the airport," insisted Cam, now openly chuckling at hilarity of the situation.

"I am," said Booth blankly, staring at the squints with bewilderment.

"He is," Brennan butted in, equally as confused.

"Yeah, because God knows what would happen if Cam gave anyone else a lift to the airport," snickered Angela, trying unsuccessfully to stop the whoops of laughter.

"Very funny," said Cam sarcastically, rolling her eyes at the implications.

"I know. So, Bren; how many times has Booth taken you to the airport before?" enquired Angela suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Never, I normally take a cab. Why?"

"You should _definitely _let Booth give you a lift more often."

"Why pay a random stranger to do what a friend will do for free?" said Hodgins cryptically, briefly looking up from his computer to perform his trademark staring into the distance.

"Ugh, those cab driver manwhores," interjected Cam, sighing with mock disgust.

"Am I... missing something? Why are you all laughing? And exactly when did prostitution come into the conversation?" asked Brennan bemusedly.

"Believe me, Bones, I'm just as confused," muttered Booth sideways, slowly edging away from the group of giggling squints.

"We're leaving now," announced Brennan. Angela sighed, shook her head and wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Have fun, sweetie," she told her, giving her a final hug and shooing her off the platform.

"Yeah, lots and lots of fun!"

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**Reviews are love. Be my love bunnies. :)**


	2. Effect

**Thanks to skagengiirl, who inspired me to write a second chapter. It didn't turn out quite the way I was planning, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!**

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The ride to the airport was spent largely in silence, often interspersed by a few seconds of thoughtless chatter.

"I still don't get what was so funny," remarked Booth speculatively.

"Probably some sort of innuendo. Angela can make a sexual reference out of almost anything," replied Brennan, looking absently out of the window at the grey tarmac speeding along beneath her.

"True. I mean, 'shaving the truffle'; what the hell's that supposed to mean?" he scoffed, taking his eyes off the road to glance at the back of Brennan's head.

"I think Angela gets kicks out of making sure that people know it's innuendo, not actually _making_ the reference in itself. That is, it doesn't mater what it means as long as people know what she's thinking. Which, of course, is impossible," she amended quickly. "What I meant was that--"

"I know what you meant, Bones," interrupted Booth. "Angela wants us to get it on, same old, same old..."

Brennan looked at him, surprised; it was unlike him to address their relationship - or lack thereof - so directly.

"I guess."

An awkward silence ensued. Booth kept his eyes strictly glued to the road and Brennan stared pensively at the side of his head.

"Do you?" she asked quietly, praying silently that he would respond and she wouldn't be left hanging.

"Do I what?" he enquired suspiciously, eyeing her dubiously in the little mirror currently obscuring his view of the next road sign.

"Do you want us to... 'get it on'?" she repeated, slightly more confident now. Booth turned visibly red and refused to meet her gaze.

"Um... well," he spluttered nervously. "I wouldn't say no to... any advances that might be made," he said ambivalently. Brennan raised her eyebrows slightly and nodded her head slowly.

"Neither would I," she agreed, satisfied. "Say no to any advances that might be made, that is."

Booth made a noncommittal grunting noise.

"Good," he finally choked out.

"Good," she replied with amusement. "So... we should have sex."

"What?!" squeaked Booth, his cheeks -if possible - reddening even further.

"Well, we've established that neither of us object to 'advances'. If we carry on without doing anything after this conversation, the sexual tension will only increase, which Angela, of course, will sense and use to her advantage at any and every possible opportunity," explained Brennan reasonably.

"That's... true," conceded Booth, his knuckles turning white with the amount of force he was exerting on the steering wheel.

"It is," she agreed quickly. She stared at his profile for a moment longer, than spontaneously reached out, twisted his head sharply round to face hers and kissed him passionately on the lips. He didn't protest; on the contrary, he complied immediately and kissed her back vigorously, momentarily forgetting that he was meant to be concentrating on the road.

The kiss lasted for what seemed like an eternity, continuing with just as much energy as it had started with. Suddenly, a blaring horn alerted Brennan to the fact that this probably wasn't the best time for her to be 'making an advance'. She pulled away immediately and grabbed the steering wheel, yanking the car back into place on the right side of the road. The driver of the truck speeding past them stared back incredulously and made an obscene hand gesture in his wing mirror.

She laughed nervously and cleared her throat, pushing her hair back with her hand. Booth appeared to be in shock.

"So, uh... how was that for an advance?"

"We should _definitely_ get it on."

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**I know, I know... anticlimactic. So sue me. Or, even better, _review_ me!**


	3. Relief

_Here by popular demand, the third and** final** (seriously, I said that last time!) chpater of my humble little **one**shot. ;) Enjoy..._

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"Damn!"

"What? What's the matter, Booth?" asked Brennan worriedly, glancing briefly up from the wallet of documents in her hands as she continued to sort methodically through the papers until she found the ones she needed.

"Your flight."

"Is it delayed further?" she sighed tiredly; the plane had already been delayed by three hours due to 'highly unseasonal weather conditions'. Booth had insisted that he wait with her to make sure she got off okay.

"Jeez, Bones... for being such a super-genius, you're kinda slow off the mark; there's a board up there. _Read it_," he snapped, rubbing his forehead exhaustedly. "It's been cancelled," he added helpfully, in a somewhat sarcastic tone.

"Ugh," she groaned. "I could _walk_ to Peru faster than this airline's getting me there."

"Was that... _sarcasm_, Bones? And used correctly, in context?" joked Both, punching her lightly on the arm. "This is a proud, proud moment for me," he announced.

"I assume that was sarcasm too, right?" she asked, with some confusion. The smile froze on Booth's face.

"Yes, Bones. Yes, it was," he clarified. "Y'know what? Enough with the sarcasm already! Let's just get you home, then I'll bring you back for the next flight to Peru, okay?"

"The next flight to Peru is tomorrow morning. It would be a waste of time and gas to drive all the way home to come straight back first thing tomorrow morning," she argued wearily. "I'll just book a hotel room for tonight and you can go home."

Booth nodded slowly.

"Or... _we_ could book a hotel room and I could go home tomorrow morning," he suggested, raising his eyebrows questioningly. A smile spread quickly across Brennan's face as she realised the implications of his words.

"You're right. I think that's a better plan," she said, grinning.

"I'm right? And you're admitting it? There goes another proud moment, Bones, whizzing right over the top of your head," he laughed. She returned his punch to the arm as they quickly went in search of a nearby hotel.

**_-x-_**

The next morning, Booth woke up in a distinctly unfamiliar bed. His first thought was, '_oh God, what did I do?_'. He rolled his head over on the pillow to get a better view of the face attached to the head that was currently snuggled into his shoulder.

'_Ah. That's what I did. At long last..._'

He rested his chin lightly on top of her head, wrapping his arm tighter around her as she shifted sleepily to cuddle further into him. He smiled contentedly, then glanced at the clock on the bedside cabinet. His next thought was that the clock was wrong; after all, it couldn't possibly be 10am _already_, could it? Then again, in his experience, that was pretty much a natural reaction after having had a night of mind-blowing sex with your long-awaited partner of three years.

"Bones," he whispered, shaking her gently. "Bones! You have to wake up!"

She merely made an indistinct grunting noise and buried her head in a pillow.

"Why?" she grumbled tiredly.

"You're gonna miss your flight!" he warned her with a smile; she was evidently not a morning person. At least, not before her first coffee of the day.

"Ugh... you seriously think I'm getting_ out_ of bed for _Peru_ when I could be _in_ bed with _you_?" she asked him in disbelief, finally raising her head from its pillow-burrow. He reached out to brush away an errant strand of hair caught at the corner of her lips.

"Good point."

**_-x-_**

"They are _so_ shagging at the airport," predicted Angela pensively, as if trying to think of a situation in which they could conceivably _not_ be shagging at the airport.

"Totally," agreed Hodgins enthusiastically. "They're like _small children_," he added thoughtfully. "You put the idea into their heads, and off they go."

"I don't know what you got up to in your childhood, Hodgins, but small children generally don't shag at airports. Or anywhere, for that matter," remarked Cam with raised eyebrows. She was apparently the only one still doing any work and not giving her full attention to debating whether or not Booth and Brennan were 'banging in a hotel somewhere', as Angela so quaintly put it.

It was a good thing that there was still at least _some_ pretense of a normal working atmosphere, especially seeing as Booth and Brennan themselves chose that exact moment to burst abruptly through the closed front doors of the building. For once, miraculously, they weren't arguing. All three pairs of eyebrows immediately shot upwards with varying degrees of force, just as three whispered questions broke the relative silence of the near-empty lab.

"Why isn't Brennan in Peru?"

"Why is she _here_ when she could be at home banging Booth?

"Why aren't they... arguing?"

The three of them shared a look of bewildered amusement as the pair strode towards them.

"Well, to answer Cam's question, I'm not in Peru because my flight got cancelled and I... overslept this morning," explained Brennan quickly, hurriedly ascending the stairs to the platform with Booth at her side. Muffled snickers and laughing glances flew across the space between the other three.

"HAH! Just like I said!" crowed Angela triumphantly. "Was it good? I bet it was _great_!" she continued.

"And to answer Hodgin's question, we don't always argue! That's just you, nutjob," snarked Booth, cutting Angela's incessant babbling off as his hand came to rest in the its usual position in the small of Brennan's back.

"And to answer _Angela_'s question," continued Brennan mischievously. "Her _first_ question, that is_ - t_hat really is a damn good question!"

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_Seriously, people; that's the lot now. Unless the plot bunny of all plot bunnies latches onto my ankle with its jagged little teeth and refuses to let go, I will **not** be writing any more, so don't go putting any of your fabulous ideas into my head again! :D _

_As always, reviews are love!_

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